Just Kidding Folks!

The other day, I was flying back home from the great state of Minnesota. Despite leaving late from my sister's place and arriving way past the TSA's recommended arrival time, MSP was a great experience for me. Security was a breeze and I could actually walk to my gate without the assistance of the moving walkway or, even worse, without bolting through the joint like I just stole something. I made it to my gate with 20, yes TWENTY minutes to spare and I was feeling like someone should give me a pat on the back.

The take off and first segment of the flight were as expected. Complementary beverages and the choice of peanuts, pretzels, or cookies. (You're damn right I chose the cookies - Delta makes a mean ginger snap!) I went balls to the wall and spent $4 for 30 minutes of Gogo (on board Internet for you road trip peeps). I checked out my favorite sites: The Daily Mail, People.com and Amtrak, just to make sure I could take the train home.

Since I'm such a jet-setter (insert laughter here), I knew my mobile device would automatically shut off at 10,000 feet elevation. And it did. No biggie. Now, I'm no pilot or aviation expert, but I would guess we were above some nasty weather. Why? When I looked out the window, I saw clouds. Lots of them. However, within a few moments, I could see rows and rows of bungalows. (That's my safety check: if I can see houses, cars and people, we are close to earth and I feel safe.) And the friendly flight attendant alerted us all that we were going to land very soon in Chicago.

Our flight path continued over an industrial area, then an interstate, and then finally, I could see the runway. I eagerly anticipated the "bump" of the tires when they would hit the runway . . . should be any second . . . tick- tock . . . WTF? . . . why aren't we on the ground dude?

Just then, BOOM! Full throttle. Captain America decided to thrust his E-170's engines up, up and away from the runway. I hoped to God the pilot wasn't playing "Double Dare" or "I Never" with his co-pilot. The reality of the situation came about a half a second later when the back of my head smashed against my seat and all 80 of us were along for the ride.

Adios Midway! Hope to see you soon!

Holy Guacamole! What just happened? In a split second, I decided I didn't give a crap and I closed my eyes and pulled out my imaginary rosary.

After about 10 Hail Mary's, the flight attendant came on and said the pilot decided to abort the landing and he will notify us when he will attempt to land again. (Kind of figured that one out.)

I fumbled through remembering the words of the Hail Mary and the Glory Be, yet was able to say a few more decades of the rosary. Soon after, I heard the familiar sound of an airplane coming close to a tarmac. I opened my eyes and looked out the window. It was the same scene I witnessed 10 minutes before, but this time, the tires touched and we had landed.

After we landed I realized the pilot NEVER came over the intercom. On a normal flight, the pilot's the one to say "Hello and welcome aboard! We know you have a choice in airlines and we are delighted that you chose Delta for your travel needs." Their job (as customers see it) is to get us from point A to B safely, keep all passengers in a happy place by informing us of the weather below, and, if necessary, bumps ahead.

The pilot must have been shy. He never said, "Hello folks! This is your captain speaking, blah blah blah." In fact, he didn't say anything after the flight attendant told us he would after his 'just kidding' landing at Midway.

I don't know what to say so I'm going to write this in case I see you again Mr. Pilot:

I don't know your name, but I do remember your youthful appearance: you had the Justin Timberlake Ramen Noodle 'do. What the heck happened? Potential bird strike? In the path of another airplane? Cross winds?A little explanation would have been nice. I know I was not the only one freaking out on the inside.

I'm sure I'll be taking Delta #5768 back home again. When I do, and if you are the pilot, I'm going to say, "Hey, remember on February 18 when you did a go around?" (Yeah, I know my airplane lingo) "What the heck was that all about?!? You scared the bejesus outta me!"

What does this have to do with my kids? Absolutely nothing. I kind of wish I had one of those "my life flashed before my eyes moments". But, I didn't. Funny thing was, I was scared, but I've been in scarier situations before.

To be continued.