The Face of an Angel

I remember one time I was out to lunch with a friend. She brought along her one year old son and continued to ask if it was OK that he tagged along. I reassured her it was great to see them both and we caught up on our latest news.

Towards the end of our meal, Baby E started to get a little antsy and made some disapproving grunts about being in the high chair. I didn't even bat an eye, yet my friend apologized over and over for her son's fussiness.

"Huh?" – was I was confused – "This is fussy?!" (I was impressed: my five year old still likes to dump out all the sugar packets and poke holes in the creamers.) In my book, baby E was a 10/10 on my "restaurant appropriate" behavior scale. He ate his food, played peek-a-boo, flirted with the waitress and was happy almost the entire time. With a sheepish grin, she said, "Yes". 

Above is the latest picture I took of Charlie. We just finished eating lunch with Grandpa Mike, Grandma Janet, and aunt Jessica at one of our favorite places, Wildfire in Eden Prairie, MN. During the meal, Charlie was the complete opposite of Baby E. He screamed, he cried, he threw stuff, and then made the meal really spectacular by throwing it all up. I'd give Charlie a 3/10 on my scale, and that's being very generous. It's a good thing he's cute! 

Here was my little angel the other night. Hit play and enjoy the show!

Now this is SCARY!

This is what happens when I've taken a roller coaster plane ride, got ripped off from a cab driver, hopped on a train that stalled on the tracks for one hour, then drove home with the hubs.

The Biebs and I wish you a happy Friday!

Just Kidding Folks!

The other day, I was flying back home from the great state of Minnesota. Despite leaving late from my sister's place and arriving way past the TSA's recommended arrival time, MSP was a great experience for me. Security was a breeze and I could actually walk to my gate without the assistance of the moving walkway or, even worse, without bolting through the joint like I just stole something. I made it to my gate with 20, yes TWENTY minutes to spare and I was feeling like someone should give me a pat on the back.

The take off and first segment of the flight were as expected. Complementary beverages and the choice of peanuts, pretzels, or cookies. (You're damn right I chose the cookies - Delta makes a mean ginger snap!) I went balls to the wall and spent $4 for 30 minutes of Gogo (on board Internet for you road trip peeps). I checked out my favorite sites: The Daily Mail, People.com and Amtrak, just to make sure I could take the train home.

Since I'm such a jet-setter (insert laughter here), I knew my mobile device would automatically shut off at 10,000 feet elevation. And it did. No biggie. Now, I'm no pilot or aviation expert, but I would guess we were above some nasty weather. Why? When I looked out the window, I saw clouds. Lots of them. However, within a few moments, I could see rows and rows of bungalows. (That's my safety check: if I can see houses, cars and people, we are close to earth and I feel safe.) And the friendly flight attendant alerted us all that we were going to land very soon in Chicago.

Our flight path continued over an industrial area, then an interstate, and then finally, I could see the runway. I eagerly anticipated the "bump" of the tires when they would hit the runway . . . should be any second . . . tick- tock . . . WTF? . . . why aren't we on the ground dude?

Just then, BOOM! Full throttle. Captain America decided to thrust his E-170's engines up, up and away from the runway. I hoped to God the pilot wasn't playing "Double Dare" or "I Never" with his co-pilot. The reality of the situation came about a half a second later when the back of my head smashed against my seat and all 80 of us were along for the ride.

Adios Midway! Hope to see you soon!

Holy Guacamole! What just happened? In a split second, I decided I didn't give a crap and I closed my eyes and pulled out my imaginary rosary.

After about 10 Hail Mary's, the flight attendant came on and said the pilot decided to abort the landing and he will notify us when he will attempt to land again. (Kind of figured that one out.)

I fumbled through remembering the words of the Hail Mary and the Glory Be, yet was able to say a few more decades of the rosary. Soon after, I heard the familiar sound of an airplane coming close to a tarmac. I opened my eyes and looked out the window. It was the same scene I witnessed 10 minutes before, but this time, the tires touched and we had landed.

After we landed I realized the pilot NEVER came over the intercom. On a normal flight, the pilot's the one to say "Hello and welcome aboard! We know you have a choice in airlines and we are delighted that you chose Delta for your travel needs." Their job (as customers see it) is to get us from point A to B safely, keep all passengers in a happy place by informing us of the weather below, and, if necessary, bumps ahead.

The pilot must have been shy. He never said, "Hello folks! This is your captain speaking, blah blah blah." In fact, he didn't say anything after the flight attendant told us he would after his 'just kidding' landing at Midway.

I don't know what to say so I'm going to write this in case I see you again Mr. Pilot:

I don't know your name, but I do remember your youthful appearance: you had the Justin Timberlake Ramen Noodle 'do. What the heck happened? Potential bird strike? In the path of another airplane? Cross winds?A little explanation would have been nice. I know I was not the only one freaking out on the inside.

I'm sure I'll be taking Delta #5768 back home again. When I do, and if you are the pilot, I'm going to say, "Hey, remember on February 18 when you did a go around?" (Yeah, I know my airplane lingo) "What the heck was that all about?!? You scared the bejesus outta me!"

What does this have to do with my kids? Absolutely nothing. I kind of wish I had one of those "my life flashed before my eyes moments". But, I didn't. Funny thing was, I was scared, but I've been in scarier situations before.

To be continued.

Back from sabbatical!

OK, who am I kidding? I didn't take a sabbatical. You have to be a professor to get a gig like that. But, it does sound way more important than saying my life in the last three months was a total cluster you-know-what.

Thankfully, I had an epiphany. Well, I guess I had two. We had an Epiphany party at church, which by the way, was delightful. Two of my kidlets played angels in the reenactment of the birth of Jesus. Leah was a natural. Now for Lily, acting was necessary.

My two angels: Lily (L) and Leah (R)

My other epiphany happened while watching a movie with the kidlets . . .

Finding Nemo. What a great movie. We all love Nemo's tenacity. 
Marlin's devotion just makes you want to run and tell your dad 
how much you love him. And then there's Dory.
She's simply adorable, fun loving, and one that always looks on the bright side.

 

Push this fancy play button. 

You see, life can be grand. Life can be mediocre. Or life can just really suck sometimes. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I took that silly little fish's advice to just keep swimming. (OK, I admit, there was some self pity for approximately 23 days, but who's counting?) I kept doing what it is I do best: being me. I'm quirky, a little obnoxious, loud, and I'll admit, I sometimes offer more than my fair share of TMI.

The bottom line is this: I adopted the attitude of "Those who mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind."

So, there you have it folks. If you have no clue what I'm talking about, congratulations! And, if you do, way to go! All you need to know is that I'm back and I'm going to be sharing some crazy %@* that my kids (or that elusive Raggedy Ann) have pulled on me lately!!

Here's a little sneak peak, because I know you are dying to see how I spent my Valentine's Day.

And we're off like a heard of turtles

I'm always late. Plain and simple. B.K. (before kids), I was just a little late. If I said I would meet you at 8:00, I'd be there by 8:10 for sure. I never really thought of it as a problem, and neither did my friends or employers. Now Adam, it drove him bananas. Too bad. He should have taken a hint when our own wedding started an hour late. Which, by the way, was so not my fault!

Now that I'm a mom, I don't have a snowballs chance in hell of ever being on time. It's just not going to happen. If we are invited somewhere, we are, at the very least, 20 minutes late. I've been running over an hour late before, and still had the balls to show up. If we are going on a road trip, tack on 2 hours from my said departure time. If we are flying, there's a high probability that we won't make the flight.

Sensing this may actually now be a problem, I decided our next road trip was going to be the one where we shocked everyone by arriving when we said we would. This personal dare was no small task either. Driving 427 miles to Grandpa Mike's house, with all four kidlets in tow, and leaving Adam at home . . . YIKES! But, I like a good challenge and this would be epic if I could pull it off. 

By 11:30 p.m. last night, everything was packed and ready to go. All that was left was to put everything in the car. I felt so proud of my accomplishment! This morning, my alarm went off, and I only snoozed it for maybe 20 minutes. I happened to glance out the window. It was crazy foggy out there, but I didn't think much of it. I hopped in the shower, got ready and started collecting the bags to load into the car. I opened the door, and to my wonderment, I could barely see the big white bus. The fog was so dense and creepy. I woke up Adam. We both agreed that by dawn, which was an hour away, the fog would lift and we'd be on the road. 

Well, that was over three hours ago and here I am, writing this blog. As Lily once told me, "God controls everything. Except Mother Nature. When she shows up, she's the boss." Oh mama N, way to poop on my cake. 

What's in a name?

When I decided to start a blog, I wasn't concerned so much about what I'd write about. The little people in my life keep it plenty interesting around here. What I was flipping out about was the name of my blog. For those of you who know me, you get my angst. Naming people stresses me out beyond belief; why would my outlet for literally prose be any different?

With the kidlets, I worried I would pick the wrong name and the small one would hate me for all eternity. Or the name I loved dearly would go out of style (think Misti, Tiffani, Tammi, or really anything ending in an i). Or, even worse, the kid would change their name. Ouch. Burn. (Oh, wait, I pulled that stunt. Sorry mom and dad.)

So, I did what any creative writer would do: I had a few glasses of wine. I tried this tacit for days. Still nothing. Don't get me wrong, I was all for getting the creative juices flowing. But, that elusive 'ah ha' moment was really starting to tick me off.

Then, one day, I gave up. I told myself that if I'm having this much trouble picking a damn name for my blog, I shouldn't be writing one to begin with. It was actually quite similar to the process of naming my children. With the kidlets, I'd think real hard, maybe even yell the name a few times, just to make sure it rolled off my tongue with some bite. When it didn't feel right, I'd give up.

And then it happened. I was cleaning chocolate milk, grape juice, and other unknown organic material off the entertainment center. I remember thinking, "from a far, she's held up pretty well! See, I CAN be that mom with white furniture!" Then my eye caught several of the permanent pen marks and gouges. "Oh, Raggedy Ann," I thought to myself and smiled. That's it!! That's my name!! Momma bear is gonna be a blogger! Whoo whoot!

Let's quickly rewind all the way back to January 2009. Lily was 20 months old, Leah 5 months. The girls were playing nicely so I walked out of the room for a moment or two. I come back to see my once pristine entertainment center was now the canvas for Lily's abstract art. She had, of course, disposed of the evidence. (I would later find out that the kid hoards pens and glitter glue. Another topic for another day.)

I shot a glance at Lily, "Who did this??? Mommy just got this a week ago!! Bad. Very, very bad!!"

Lily looks me straight in the face, and without the slightest hesitation, says, "Raggedy Ann did it. "

The Cast and Crew

Star #1

Lily Claire

Born: April 2007

Nickname: Lil, cuddle bug

Likes: being the boss, coloring, dinosaurs, cuddles, make believe, chocolate milk, chicken fries

Dislikes: rules, authority, vegetables, time outs

Star #2

Leah Evelyn

Born: August 2008

Nickname: Bear

Likes: everything, especially raggy

Dislikes: wearing her eye patch, getting in trouble

Star #3

Lucille Elizabeth

Born: June 2010

Nickname: Lucy, The Lu, Luster, Bug-a-Lu, bug, small fry (starting to wonder if this kid knows her real name?)

Likes: blankie, paci, super cuddles, music, dancing, diet coke

Dislikes: anything you say no to

Star #4

Charles Lennon Christopher

Born: October 2011

Nickname: Charlie, CLCP

Likes: cuddles, kisses, peek-a-boo, exploration, demolition 

Dislikes: being ignored

Extra

Bella Star

Born: March 2004

Nickname: Bella, Bulldog

Likes: people food, being sassy, spooning, hinder rubs

Dislikes: all other dogs, not getting her way, baths

Amanda

Producer & Director

Nickname: Mommy

Likes: the smell of clean, running, diet coke, wine, bacon, pedicures

Dislikes: chaos, messes, sassy children, snotty noses, ear wax

Adam

The Hubs

Nickname: Daddy

Likes: punctuality, hugs, movies, popcorn, whiskey, science, running

Dislikes: short showers, being tired, idiots